Gentleness & Kind Speech

Is gentle and soft toward his wife in word and deed; speaks kindly and never with harshness, insult, or contempt.

Modern relationship guidance
Be attentive to your partner's comfort levels, as she may not always speak up directly about mistakes or discomfort to avoid hurting your feelings.
Do not pursue your wife only for sexual intimacy.
Flirt with your wife throughout the day rather than just in the bedroom.
Provide consistent attention to your wife during the day instead of ignoring her until it is time for intimacy.
Woo and pamper your wife regularly.
Make your wife feel desired by you at all times.
Express how attractive she is and how much you want her.
Be romantic and make your wife crave you even when you are apart.
Shower your wife with love and affection outside of the bedroom.
Have a conversation with your wife about what she likes and dislikes before intimacy.
Ask your wife to feel free to tell you when she doesn't like something you are doing during intimacy.
Treat intimacy like cooking for someone else by learning her sensitivities, limits, and preferences.
Prophetic example
Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 30, Hadith 35

“The Prophet (ﷺ) used to kiss and embrace (his wives)”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 33, Hadith 4

“The Prophet (ﷺ) used to (put) bend his head (out) to me while he was in I`tikaf in the mosque during my monthly periods and I would comb and oil his hair.”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 33, Hadith 5

“Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) used to let his head in (the house) while he was in the mosque and I would comb and oil his hair.”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 33, Hadith 6

“The Prophet (ﷺ) used to embrace me during my menses.”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 46, Hadith 42

“The Prophet (ﷺ) collected the shattered pieces and put the food back in it and said, "Eat."”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 56, Hadith 108

“I saw Allah's Apostle folding a cloak round the hump of the camel so as to make a wide space for Safiya (to sit on behind him)”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 57, Hadith 22

“Shall I tell you a thing which is better than what you asked me for?”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 62, Hadith 55

“Shall I teach you a thing which is better than what you have asked me? When you go to bed, say, 'Allahu-Akbar' thirty-four times, and 'Subhan Allah thirty-three times, and 'Al hamdu-li l-lah thirty-three times for that is better for you both than a servant.”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 63, Hadith 41

“I often heard him mentioning her”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 65, Hadith 307

“I am going to mention to you something but you should not hasten (to give your reply) unless you consult your parents.”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 65, Hadith 308

“I am going to mention to you something, but you shall not hasten (to give your reply) unless you consult your parents.”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 65, Hadith 315

“Peace and Allah's Mercy be on you, O the people of the house!”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 65, Hadith 316

“He would greet them and invoke good on them”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 65, Hadith 463

“It is not wise for anyone of you to lash his wife like a slave, for he might sleep with her the same evening.”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 8, Hadith 160

“whenever he prostrated, he pushed my feet and I withdrew them”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 67, Hadith 89

“he came to the dwelling places of the mothers of the Believers (i.e. his wives) invoking good (on them)”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 8, Hadith 165

“The Prophet (ﷺ) used to pray while I used to sleep beside him during my periods (menses)”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 67, Hadith 158

“Your mother (my wife) felt jealous.”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 68, Hadith 4

“He said, "You have sought refuge with The Great; return to your family."”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 76, Hadith 58

“The Prophet (ﷺ) used to treat some of his wives by passing his right hand over the place of ailment”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 76, Hadith 65

“The Prophet (ﷺ) used to treat some of his wives by passing his right hand over the place of ailment”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 78, Hadith 175

“May Allah be merciful to you, O Anjasha! Drive the camels slowly, as they are carrying glass vessels!”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 80, Hadith 15

“'Shall I not tell you of a thing which is better for you than a servant? ... for that is better for you than a servant.'”

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Sahih Muslim - Book 13, Hadith 90

“Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) kissed (his wives)”

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Sahih Muslim - Book 17, Hadith 55

“There is no lack of estimation for you on the part of your husband.”

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Sahih Muslim - Book 18, Hadith 30

“allow you to depart a goodly departing”

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Sahih Muslim - Book 44, Hadith 107

“I often heard him praise her”

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Sahih Muslim - Book 52, Hadith 64

“He said: A'isha, what has happened to you?”

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Sahih Muslim - Book 3, Hadith 1

“asked her to tie a waist-wrapper over her (body) and then embraced her”

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Jami` at-Tirmidhi - Book 13, Hadith 26

“What caused you to do that, may Allah have mercy upon you?”

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Jami` at-Tirmidhi - Book 47, Hadith 395

“One of you should not lash his wife as a slave is lashed, for perhaps he will lay with her at the end of the day.”

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Jami` at-Tirmidhi - Book 49, Hadith 271

“He said: "You are upon good."”

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Sunan Abi Dawud - Book 8, Hadith 35

“if she refuses, he sprinkles water on her face.”

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Sunan Abi Dawud - Book 1, Hadith 179

“The Prophet (ﷺ) kissed one of his wives”

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Sunan Abi Dawud - Book 12, Hadith 98

“do not revile her face”

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Sunan Abi Dawud - Book 13, Hadith 37

“So he prohibited him (addressing his wife in this manner)”

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Sunan Abi Dawud - Book 43, Hadith 290

“Let me guide to something better than what you have asked.”

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Sunan an-Nasa'i - Book 26, Hadith 6

“I am going to tell you something, but you do not have to rush until you consult your parents.”

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Sunan an-Nasa'i - Book 27, Hadith 51

“I am going to say something to you and you do not have to rush (to make a decision) until you consult your parents.”

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Sunan an-Nasa'i - Book 27, Hadith 52

“O 'Aishah, I am going to say something to you and you do not have to rush (to make a decision) until you consult your parents.”

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Sunan an-Nasa'i - Book 27, Hadith 170

“or release her with kindness”

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Sunan an-Nasa'i - Book 36, Hadith 17

“'Your mother got jealous; eat.'”

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Sunan Ibn Majah - Book 9, Hadith 139

“How long will one of you whip his wife like a slave, then lie with her at the end of the day?”

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Sunan Ibn Majah - Book 13, Hadith 27

“He said: 'Your mother was jealous. Eat.'”

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Sunan Ibn Majah - Book 33, Hadith 83

“You are Umm Abdullah”

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Sunan Ibn Majah - Book 5, Hadith 156

“The Prophet (ﷺ) used to perform prayer when I was opposite to him, and his garment would sometimes touch me when he prostrated.”

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