Patience & Forbearance

Bears his wife's faults, mistakes and difficult moments with patience over time; is slow to anger and endures hardship in the marriage gracefully.

Modern relationship guidance
Be mindful that certain physical interactions may be painful or uncomfortable depending on her body and cycle.
Slow down during intimacy and take your time to enjoy passionate moments together.
Avoid constant worrying about whether you are saying or doing the right thing, as it can come across as insincere.
Put in consistent effort and time to overcome a bad first impression.
Accept that a bad first impression was made.
Wait to merge finances if your wife has poor spending habits until she develops better ones.
Acknowledge specific differences in spending habits, such as one person being a compulsive spender while the other is conservative.
Explain how past experiences, such as growing up in poverty or facing bankruptcy, might be influencing your current spending decisions.
Understand your partner's past experiences with poverty or bankruptcy to better comprehend their current spending decisions and fears.
Manage anger and frustration constructively during discussions about money to avoid straining the relationship.
Manage anger and frustration constructively, especially during financial difficulties.
Avoid saying or doing something exceptionally cruel when feeling angry or frustrated.
Prophetic example
Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 46, Hadith 42

“The Prophet (ﷺ) collected the shattered pieces and put the food back in it and said, "Eat."”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 51, Hadith 15

“but he remained silent”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 8, Hadith 160

“whenever he prostrated, he pushed my feet and I withdrew them”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 67, Hadith 158

“The Prophet (ﷺ) gathered the broken pieces of the dish and then started collecting on them the food which had been in the dish”

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Sahih al-Bukhari - Book 68, Hadith 4

“He said, "You have sought refuge with The Great; return to your family."”

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Jami` at-Tirmidhi - Book 15, Hadith 39

“So the Prophet (ﷺ) said: "Food for food and vessel for vessel."”

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Jami` at-Tirmidhi - Book 49, Hadith 146

“none shall be able to be patient concerning you except the patient ones”

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Sunan an-Nasa'i - Book 36, Hadith 17

“She struck the hand of the Prophet and the bowl fell and broke. The Prophet picked up the two pieces and put them together”

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Sunan Ibn Majah - Book 13, Hadith 27

“She (the first wife) struck the hand of the Messenger of (ﷺ) and the bowl fell and broke. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) took the two pieces and put them back together...”

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